Adult information - Walking a child through grief

If you have purchased this resource, you are most likely an adult who has a grieving child in their care. What an important, privileged and challenging role this is. Thank you for caring enough to investigate these activities!

Over the next few pages are some great resources and services that will further inform you, but here are a few basic strategies to assist in your approach to grieving children that we believe will be helpful to them.

1. No rules. While grief sometimes can follow a pattern, in truth there are no rules in how we ought to grieve.

2. Neither confront or avoid, just be available. Younger children will often volunteer information about their traumatic experience and older children tend to be far more reluctant, sometimes never talking about it. The best approach is to let them know that you know something has happened, briefly express your availability and support and then step back to give them space. 

3. Be soft in manner, but not in words.  Don’t use euphemisms like ‘passed away’ or ‘lost’. These can be confusing. Even though it sounds blunt to our adult ears, it is best to use the simpler words like ‘died’, but being sure to have a soft tone of voice. Also don’t dwell on it, labouring the grief. 

4. Do these booklet activities yourself. 

As you process through the various tasks, be genuine. Challenge yourself to think of a lost loved one or a trauma you’ve experienced. While this may be challenging, emotionally,  it will give you a good grounding in leading a child through the journey.